today i OCD cleaned my room. and i decided to throw away the toxic things....the finalization that im not friends with them anymore. and the finalization that im over with their shit.
this may sound stupid, but to me, handwritten notes that ive held on to are so close to me..ive kept almost every single one from all my close friends. there was about 10lbs of them. im not kidding you. i had them all in a huge mead binder and a safe.
i went through all of them...threw away about 90% of them...only kept a few...most of them were from E(xx) and with all the stuff thats happend with her....i dunno. it was like total backstabbing. i dont curse her or anything, its just i realized that i dont need to be walked on.
i realized how childish the letters were, and how complainy i can be. i shouldnt be such a pussy.
so...as im walking out to the trash with this armful of my past, i was just walking really slow, thinking of the transition of notes, from hand to hand, and that these people had taken their time to write me...but had hurt me as well. im glad they didnt. i learned a lesson or so..
so i approached the recycling bin..opened it..and let go.
its done.
case closed.
thank you.
goodbye.
where the notes had been on my chest burnt and felt warm, and i touched it...
goodbye friends of the past, have a good future.
-jo