man.
.am.
.i.
.tired.

really. i am. i shopped all day. ow, my legs.
bought lots of great cute stuff.
.oh.yeah.
is this a haiku? nawwwwwwww.....im not that cool.
i got pumas. now THATS poetry.

so....while me and A(XX) were walking from urban outfitters, i thought i saw C(XY) and i didnt even look at him..i just wanted to seem "cool" for a second...i didnt want to freak out or anything...i wouldnt know whether to wave or what..so i didnt look...but i saw him. yep. it was strange. then A(xy) was like, "he wants to do you, over and over!!"
were gonna hang out with A(XY) and L(XY) and offend them with sex talk. shoving dicks in mouths RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P(xy) said hes sending me presents. in the mail. and im glad. he stayed online til i came so he could say hi. i was glad. he asked me my bday. cause he wants to come see me then, or he kinda pointed to that. i gave him my fake bday. ha ha. until he said that he wanted to come here then. *sigh*

girls shouldnt be told such things when theyre so tired. A(xx) and her older guy that she digs at work are all ooh la la. its cute. its parallel to my life. strange!

tattoos. oh, how i love thee.

im just feeling really emotional and upset right now...

im starting to miss him a lot..
its horrible. i just want to call him to say im coming over, or have him call me and him say hes picking me up, but it wont happen..it wont be normal for a long time.
right now, id just want a hug, or to hold his hand for a few minutes. this sucks so bad. so so so bad.

i dunno...it just seems, since me and my ex broke up, i realized how much i like affection. (from some people) ive never gotten much of it. its never been that consistant in my life.
ugh. but i just sit here. alone. again. at this stupid fucking computer.

i think the thing i need most is just the thought that someone is thinking of me. wanting to spend time with me. missing me. wanting to be just with me. but no...no one wants that. not a "boyfriend" or my parents or anyone...no one. no one wants to spend time with me. no one misses me. no one cares for me a millionth of what i care for them.
it seems i swing between being sad over this ongoing ordeal, and then being spiteful, and "not caring" and just saying good riddance to it all...

this is just fabulous. im going to wake up in the morning, and my sisters going to be awake. and im not going to leave the house. cause my mom doesnt want to talk to me, or go anywhere with me...and no one wants to hang out. fabulous.
-jo

today was my sisters party.
im sooooooooo tired lately. i havent even been up 12 hrs....
we talked for 2 hrs.
anna nichole smith is fat. offensively fat.

my grandmother gave me $200 today. i feel incredibly guilty. i dont need it.....really, i dont. ill probably just spend it on shit....its supposedly for clothes.

im sooooooooo tired.............blaah