so y(xy) left this morning. i had to walk over to travel lodge at 7..man..it was crazy. i walked fast over there...but doddled home and was an innocent standby-er in a T-bone crash. i took pictures, discreetly of course. so what if im a tinge morbid?

so we said goodbye. i gave him a really girly hug. up on the tiptoes. one arm around the neck. one arm around the torso...letting go letting the hands slide all about. all guys love hugs like that. well...the ones that have told me they do..i do like touching people. especially boys. tee hee hee..*dons knee socks*

siiiiigghh..todays been semi dreamy, but cloudy....waking up early...later, crashing for 5 hrs. i just took some pills to knock me out. its pissing me off, my sister is awake during the day now....but that means i can stay up late on here. thats cool. but that means i cant watch TV during the day.
bitch.

so P(XY) and i have been talking...its like exactly what i want. he was drunk tonite, saying he thought about me the whole drive home (drinking and driving...*marge groan*) *siiiiiiiigh* i cant wait to see him again. im like his lolita. thats how i kinda feel. just running up and hanging on him....he sent me pics of himself. he looks all scruffy. this one adorable pic of him kissing a cat..aww...

A(XX) IS HOME!!!!!!!! YAAAAAY! I havent seen her in FOREVER! shes coming over tomarrow at 6pm, after her family looks at this house..they might move (??) into the historical district a block away from me, by my nana+papa. how cool would that be?! alene in the historical district! then id have an excuse to hang out at the art deco neighborhoods and take pics of the old catholic church! EE! and itd be easier to pick her up from school. yay.

today was strange. i took a 5 hr nap..i never take naps. i took it in my sweater. and my hair all teased out. i like taking naps with make up on, cause it smudges my eyeliner perfectly, and i look like a kitten...sounds strange, but its true...

OH! how i need some money! it was horrible, cause the last week, everytime i said that to someone, they suggested that i give Y(xy) a handjob...or blowjob..or whatever. how horrible. dirty fucks! i wont be looking for a job again til oct or nov, due to working seasons....xmas and all. ill get one. ill get my license after the LA trip. its all good. im growing up. i need not freak out like i was.

oh yeah, one last note Y(xy) smelled soooooo good, and he doesnt even wear a cologne...mm.

hes leaving in the morn, i gotta get up early and walk over to the travellodge...ahhh! la la la....

i wanna talk to P(XY) sooooooooo bad right now. id kill to just take a shower, and see him asleep in my bed...and cuddle up to him. id do anythingAnythingANYTHING. gosh. he called today. he always calls and says the best things...like "what id do to kiss you right now..goregous little thing.."
goosssssssssssshh!

if he were to come back right now, things would be so great! but he cant. im not sad or anything. im really happy. cause i know, the next time ill be able to see him a lot will be when im older, and more able to pursue things with a new seriousness.

im so sore. im gonna take a bunch of pills to knock me out. once yoichi leaves, ill be able to do that more. but a(xx) will be home. thatll be cool. but i wanna be unconcious for a few days somewhere in there. its great, cause when i knock myself out like that, i wake up and i feel GREAT. ill take a bunch of asprin and depheryl. yeah. im not a narcotic or anything. i never take that stuff...but its nice to sleep super deep, and wake up and make it feel great to take a deep breath thru your nose.

im a piece of beat meat. just wanting to marinate in his juices. and get grilled by his tongue.
eaten and digested.
and satisfy his appetite.

that all sounds incredibly gross, but would be awesome lyrics. sounds like fiona apple. shes hot, but so skinny...my oh my.
im sleeping now.
::over and out::

hes here...the day has been....eventful..my father in attempt to be friendly ended up being slightly racist, but he bought us lunch. then, after going around town for about 3 hrs with him, we got yoichi a hotel and then my dad dropped us off at my house. in an attempt to kill akwardness, i showed him a ton of pics and junk..then, i(xy) calls me and says he wants to hang out. we meet ivan and a few of his friends at westwood.....then, two of the guys gotta go check in with their mummies...that takes TWO HOURS! then we go to stinkweeds. spend forever just sitting around there. then to mill, where a(xy)(that guy who wanted me to show him my boobs) wont leave me the fuck alone....i wanted to kill myself. he kept bothering me, and his GIRLFRIEND was there too. hes a total prick. then, while we were in borders, he was standing behind me with his gf, and he SUCKED and LICKED my neck. IN FRONT OF HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!! the sucking and licking made me really mad, but in front of his girlfriend? PLEASE!!!!!! she ended up crying, and i told him he was a cocksucker. oh, before the whole sucking thing, T(xy)(the good t) found us on mill (THANK GOOOOOD!) and he kinda saved the day. before, it was just strange...everyone was kinda weird...and going off in every direction. so, after the suck incident...i told off a(xy), then me, tony and yoichi decided to stray from them. we did, but kept running into them. once we ditched them, the three of us had a ton more fun. sooo...thats about it. im really tired, and i feel kinda like im babysitting....tomarrows the show. and i am tired. waiting for a phone call. at 135AM.
sleepyland in the clouds with ones you love sounds goregous.
-jo